overwhelmed
BlackSwan of Memphis
JoinedPosts by BlackSwan of Memphis
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58
I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
wow, she has really made up her mind.
I can't imagine how much your heart is breaking, and that just really sucks.
You will get through this though.
I really hope that you stick around and hang out. Have a cup of coffee...
welcome btw
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58
I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
asked her to work things out with a neutral counsler.
for the record, I don't think you're a jerk. Don't know you.
Anyhow, this is the smartest thing to do. Just remember if she does confide in you, she is confiding, which is not an easy thing to do.
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58
I just don't understand
by ttc99wilson inmy wife and i have been married for 8 years and we have 2 boys (8 and 3).
we are both unbaptized publishers and a few weeks ago she told me that she couldn't me married to me anymore and that she wanted her freedom and independence.
now we are pretty much separated and she has been pushing for divorce, she stays and home about 2 nights a week and the other nights she stays somewhere and doesn't tell me where.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
You want her to confide in you what is "really going on"? Oh, well let's say she does. And the information is, as you say, confidential, what are you going to do with the information if it goes against what you believe are bible principles?
Sometimes, often perhaps, people who are witnesses will not confide out of fear.
If she tells you what you think you should know, are you going to keep what she tells you confidential?
If she IS having an affair, are you going to take her to the elders? Or are you going to recognize that it's just over and let her go and let it be?
Be careful what you are seeking, you just might get it. And the result might be much different then what you are hoping for.
good luck
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60
Is the World Really More Violent Today?
by nvrgnbk ina quick perusal of the bible reveals an extremely violent world.. any brief study of human history reveals acts of barbarism and bloody atrocities dispersed across millenia .. is the world of today perhaps safer than ever?.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
I needed a good laugh today. ty
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60
Is the World Really More Violent Today?
by nvrgnbk ina quick perusal of the bible reveals an extremely violent world.. any brief study of human history reveals acts of barbarism and bloody atrocities dispersed across millenia .. is the world of today perhaps safer than ever?.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
I get the sense that the ancient world was a much more barbaric and uncivilized place.
That's my impression.
I have the set of books by Will Durant and over the years have spent time reading bits and pieces. Now, I do realize that the thing is these books are likely somewhat out dated with new information. But the basics are there.
And what I've gotten out of it is that day to day life was vastly different then it is now. Violence and child abuse was commonplace and accepted. I can't tell you the number of elderly people who I know who can tell you stories about their child hood. Stories that would carry their parents right into the court room with the charge of child abuse.
Violence against women is also not as accepted. Women have long been considered property and what a man or father chose to do with her was his business. And people simply looked the other way.
Funny, I have had a lot of friends really love the Victorian era, the old fashioned days...now, I'm a sucker for the long poofy dresses, like Cindrella, but the reality is these women were often treated pretty bad and had very hard lives. Not always, but often.
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60
Is the World Really More Violent Today?
by nvrgnbk ina quick perusal of the bible reveals an extremely violent world.. any brief study of human history reveals acts of barbarism and bloody atrocities dispersed across millenia .. is the world of today perhaps safer than ever?.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
Hmmm no.
I just googled this and found this:
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13
last day
by BlackSwan of Memphis inwas today.. he's more upset then he thought he would be.. after nearly 30 years with a company and they just say "see ya".
they've let around 50 people go so far and there are more terminations to come.. we've been scouring the various websites (career builder, monster etc) and the local papers and out of state papers....... ..... just nothin much out there.... thinking out loud tonight he mentioned canada.
not my first choice, only because i'm not a fan of winter to begin with, going more north is not something i'm completely in love with, but at this point.........anywhere he can get a job that pays decently.. he's going to take a test for the postal service.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
Jgnat: WOW Thanks Babe!!! I really really appreciate these links!
Pec: Yeah, newspapers are really not the wave of the future I guess huh? I know this paper was owned by a pretty cool guy up til 3 years ago. He negotiated with the union then sold to Gannett (USA Today, Detroit News etc) and by last year we were getting nervous as they were not updating the presses. Bad omen ya know?
Gannett's lawyers came in to talk in June and just flat out said, we're moving production out. We have a pretty good guess that not only do they not want to work with union guys, but they don't want this paper period. The long term plan looks suspicious, almost like they're setting it up for failure. The sucky thing is that right behind my husband's shop is Vlassis (no not the pickles, the ad corp) and they're hiring for exactly what my husband can do. They pay great!! But they absolutely will not hire guys who've been union. Which stinks because my husband did it because he had to. It was not like he sought it out, it was just there and came with the job. If he got in with this place, we could keep the house and stay here with me doing part time....oh well, now I'm just whining. Sorry about that.
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13
last day
by BlackSwan of Memphis inwas today.. he's more upset then he thought he would be.. after nearly 30 years with a company and they just say "see ya".
they've let around 50 people go so far and there are more terminations to come.. we've been scouring the various websites (career builder, monster etc) and the local papers and out of state papers....... ..... just nothin much out there.... thinking out loud tonight he mentioned canada.
not my first choice, only because i'm not a fan of winter to begin with, going more north is not something i'm completely in love with, but at this point.........anywhere he can get a job that pays decently.. he's going to take a test for the postal service.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
Ok sorry guys for taking off last night. After I posted Mr Swan and I did some more talking and went to bed. It was a long day peppered with a lot of stuff.
Bigdreaux: He worked at a newspaper as a Production Journeyman...meaning he was a mailer or insert operator. They were the ones to make sure that newspapers got their ads and went to where they were supposed to go.
Orbison: Thanks for the heads up on that. Vancouver sounds like a beautiful place to live. We've heard awesome things about it.
Stealth: Calgary huh? Making a list here of places to check. Thanks!!
Free2think: Hey thanks. We'll be ok. I know it. It's just the time in between is a little nerve wracking. I'll tell ya though, we're better off the others who work in the same place as him. Even his brother! His bro works in a different dept but has the threat hanging over him, plus their negotiations start Thurs and it's likely they will offer a drastically less pay and expect them to do way more work for it. The thing is, this is where my husband and I met. I Know the work these guys do. They are hard working men. So, at this point, we're actually becoming More worried about him. Mr Swan and his co workers ended up with a small severance that will help us get through a few months. We're hoping that he can find work before he gets through it, because if he finds work out of state OR out of country, then that will help us get a place and get moved. His brother likely won't get that if they do cut him and if they cut the wage he'll just have to choose whether to stay or walk away. The guys that bought this place own several other newspapers and media. They know what they're doing. People who have sunk their entire lives into this place are just being axed left and right. We got lucky compared to upper management.
Lisa: He can't retire until 57 (?) and even then it will be with a penalty. We had to cash out the 401, he's wishing now we would have put more into it. The thing is with that, that was literally going to be Juniper's college fund as his pension would (will) be enough to live on. So, we really don't want to touch the 401 cash. Unemployment lasts 6 months. He can Do a lot of things. He is a licensed high/low forklift driver, he can drive box trucks, he's willing and thinking of getting a class B cdl as it will open up more doors. The thing is, they just don't pay well for this stuff. Really in many areas, not just here, you're lucky to get $10 an hour. Even if we both work at that rate full time, that still won't make our bills. So, hey, no big deal we can move. We're just thinking though that if we have to kick our butts to make this work, fine but we're going to do it someplace else, as we're not overly fond of this part of MI. I'd like to go South. Texas, NM. He wants to go to NV. Which is fine by me, but Texas would be nice as from what I hear there are SOooo many nice people down there...(aww who am I kiddin' I just want to hit a TX apostafest, lol)
Unemployment lasts 6 months. NOW we did just hear, MI is now offering a good chunk of cash to reeducate people who are laid off. Noni1974 had suggested this, but I was thinking that they *the MI govt would have certain classes, i.e. computers etc for them to take. Instead, they are offering the cash to anyone who goes through any education to get back on their feet. He is going to check into that. Either for trucking or computers or business......he's not sure right now.
jgnat: ALberta! Ok, well...I will be looking into that area too then. I'm intersted to see what's available! And likely we would get the place to live first anyway with the kids and all.
Thank you for the info!! I was just showing him all the replies and what you had to say about the process. He said thanks!!
Blondie: He's very handy! And I'm sure he will hook up with a few guys for extra cash. Besides the guys at work (including his brother) we are putting out the word to people we know, the problem is They're getting laid off too! Not a good situation. Family....hahahaha oy that's a whole others story as of late. But yes we are definitely putting the word out. I'm getting some business cards made up for him. Just to Give people to keep his name and number and type of work he does. We have a resume for him. The positions that he Could qualify for are often just a tad out of his reach in terms of specifics and experience. There was one in TX that looked great, but it was just a little over his head. So, he's sort of stuck in between things. He's either going to be Over qualified for positions or just Under qualified. And in many of these situations, it is not a matter of schooling to learn what he doesn't know it's a matter of someone has to take a chance with him and see that he is a very fast learner and is hard on himself until he gets it not just right, but dang well near perfect.
I'd hire him, but I'm biased.
FL: Yep you know. I know that we can and will get state aid. But I also know that there are so many people out of work right now, that it takes a looong time to actually get help. We have insurance til the end of the month, so I'm going to get things settled with the kids. A friend whose husband has been out of work and who doesn't make quite enough now gave me a bunch of local charities and resources for food and clothing. Clothing will be the worst. New Truth sews so I think I'm going to talk to her at our 'fest this weekend to see if she can help with that.
I described his job position up above, but a quick synopsis: He's a Production Journeyman, mailer or ad insert operator. He has worked in a supervisory position for several years now too. So he has that under his belt.
We shall get through! I know that. Nerve wracking, but it will work.
I need to get past a few of my own issues. I don't mind working more at all! I have a really really hard time with working with the public and seeing as I've no education past high school, I don't know what more to do. I am looking for more housecleaning jobs and I am hoping that something will come through on that.
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13
last day
by BlackSwan of Memphis inwas today.. he's more upset then he thought he would be.. after nearly 30 years with a company and they just say "see ya".
they've let around 50 people go so far and there are more terminations to come.. we've been scouring the various websites (career builder, monster etc) and the local papers and out of state papers....... ..... just nothin much out there.... thinking out loud tonight he mentioned canada.
not my first choice, only because i'm not a fan of winter to begin with, going more north is not something i'm completely in love with, but at this point.........anywhere he can get a job that pays decently.. he's going to take a test for the postal service.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
was today.
He's more upset then he thought he would be.
After nearly 30 years with a company and they just say "see ya".
They've let around 50 people go so far and there are more terminations to come.
We've been scouring the various websites (career builder, monster etc) and the local papers and out of state papers......
....
just nothin much out there...
Thinking out loud tonight he mentioned Canada. Not my first choice, only because I'm not a fan of winter to begin with, going more North is not something I'm completely in love with, but at this point.........anywhere he can get a job that pays decently.
He's going to take a test for the postal service. He has to pass with a 90 and then goes on a list or something...so we'll see about that. Crossing our fingers.
I know somehow it's going to be ok. It's just the stress of getting to that point is sometimes a little tough.